Certain behaviors reveal a distance and a lack of communication that can jeopardize the romantic relationship. But how do you know if a person is unhappy in their relationship? How to identify discomfort? What to do in this situation? And how do you know if you're stopping or if you're continuing? Learn to recognize the signs.
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| the signs that the other is not happy in the couple |
A relationship rarely turns out like a fairy tale. When a couple is going through a difficult phase because of a lack of communication, trust, differing points of view, badly digested feelings or reproaches... or of another reason, it happens that one of the two people distances themselves.
If this is the case, here are some signals that should alert you and tell you that it is time either to take the situation in hand to get out of this bad patch, or to make a decision concerning your relationship.
How to recognize an unhappy man or woman in a relationship?
"An unhappy person in a relationship can express it in different ways: through more frequent and intense anger, bouts of sadness or even despair, long periods of boredom or isolation", explains Karine Fiore, professional coach specializing in love life.
"The person no longer shows commitment in the couple, whether in everyday life or to make plans," she continues. But also, " she no longer pays attention to the other: rewarding words, quality time, gifts, physical touch or services rendered".
The sign that should alert is the unusual and frequent side of this (these) behavior (s), specifies the expert.
"However, these behaviors may set in gradually and you might not see a difference." To find out if the person is acting unusual, think back to a time when you know they were happy: how were they? What was she showing that she no longer shows? And conversely, what does it express that is different?
What are the signs of a couple in danger or going badly?
“A couple is in danger when one or both people are disengaged from the relationship, ” says Karine Fiore. "They no longer believe in a possible change or even do not trust the other to achieve it together".
The signs of a couple in danger can be:
- No more sexuality or physical contact ;
- Many disputes or disagreements, or conversely no more disputes ;
- The feeling of not being able to express oneself authentically in the relationship for fear of the reaction of the other.
A complicated sexuality
In your relationship, your partner never initiates sexual intercourse and seems disinterested when you attempt an approach? She or he may be suffering from sexual dissatisfaction or a decrease in libido linked to poor communication in the couple.
“A problem in sexuality is often the manifestation of a problem in the relationship. It can be solved with discussions on this subject, or thanks to parallel work on the relationship”.
If she or he doesn't feel close to you emotionally, she or he will tend to keep their distance. Try to approach the problem to understand where the blockage is. Then try to find a solution together.
What to do when a person is not happy in a relationship?
When you find that you are not happy in a relationship, you can initiate a dialogue using the technique of non-violent communication (NVC).
Express to the other how you feel:
- Inform of your need to speak ;
- Plan a time together when everyone is physically and mentally available ;
- Be in the calmest emotional state possible ;
- Express what you feel and what you need.
Get accompanied by a professional, sometimes a few therapy sessions are enough to help you in a situation that seems hopeless. You can choose to do it alone or in pairs ( couple therapy ).
I love him but yet I am unhappy, what should I do?
If you are unhappy but your feelings are still there, take stock of what is making you unhappy.
- Is it a personal discomfort that your partner cannot overcome?
- Is it a problem in the relationship that needs to be solved together?
- Or is it your partner who does not correspond to you/no longer but whom you cannot leave?
“ You are the only person who knows what you need to be happy,” recalls Karine Fiore.
Once again, you can be accompanied by a professional who will provide you with objective and disinterested help. "This will help you identify the heart of the problem and thus direct you towards the solutions most likely to help you. false solutions ".
I see that my spouse has doubts: what should I do?
First of all, " find the facts ", advises the coach. For example, ask yourself: "What makes you think that he or she has doubts?". Ask yourself what he or she says and does, or on the contrary, does not say and do.
Then, tell him about what you observed:
- Tell him you need to talk ;
- Choose a time when you are both physically and mentally available ;
- Tell him what you have observed in a factual way ;
- Tell him how it makes you feel ;
- Ask him the reason for these behaviors. "Be careful, not in an emotion of accusation but in a real search for understanding", specifies the specialist.
So how do you know if you're stopping or continuing and if it's the end of the relationship?
For Karine Fiore, you can know whether to put an end to your story with your partner " if all remedies have been tried and there is no, or not enough, improvement in the relationship". But also "when you feel that you no longer want to continue and that the bad times are more frequent than the good ones", she concludes.
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